View from a grassy Knowl Pakgate D.C.(A differing view!)

**********The Views in this post are mine and by no means the views of Long Eaton United F.C.**********
Parkgate F.C. V Long Eaton United F.C.
Venue: Roundwood Pavillion, Parkgate, Rotherham.
Date: Saturday 6th March 2010.3p.m. k.o.
Weather:Sunny with light cloud 3 Celsius.Light wind North/ northeastly.
Att:approx 60(20 loyal blues fans)

KICK OFF 0-0.
I once read If you walk the walk you talk the talk.
On entrance to Roundwood Pavillion I was greeted to what could only be described as a sort of cross between a casting for Green street/The firm and a pub fequented by football casuals all a little too old and who should know better with bodies decked out head to toe in the finest Addidas,pringle and Lyle and Scott then I remembered it was also a golf club and the old rectal sphincter relaxed again with thoughts our Uncle Tony's meet and greet with Dinnington Town's finest cavaliers a mere distant thought. Our thoughts returned to the soon to commence match!

First half:Referee and assistants spoilted it with there nonchalant Narcisist mannerisms, some rediculous descisions against both teams spoiling what had the potential to be an excellent game. The match kicked off with Blues attacking the Pavillion end and the sitting stand(shouldnt they really be called the seat as health and safety now states that you cannot stand in the seats?)Parkgate kicked off and set the pace apparently. I was still in the clubhouse finishing off my Lime and Soda, well you would at 70p a half! I ventured out just in time to see what was to be the first of many ludicrous decisions as the ref.with his view blocked by a blues player chesting the ball down straight infront of the assistant referee only for the Ref.to give a free kick for hand ball!If that was a free kick then then bite my b$%ls and call me skippy!Soon after Blues took the lead as they began to take control of the game which would last for the rest of the game. A header to the far post was deflected across and ended up in the back of the net although it was no more than Blues deserved.However, Sax had to make some excellent saves to keep blues ahead although Long Eaton had there own chances also which the Parkgate keeper had to be alert too.Unfortunately the game was being spoiled by Adolf and his Two Stormtroopers this continued until the ref did one thing right which was to blow his whistle for half time even though he really seemed none too convinced in his descision!

HALF TIME: Parkgate 0-1 Long Eaton.

The second half started in exactley the same inept manner that the first ended after the ref had worked out who should be at which end and he had put his socks and boots on after counting the players of each team and relising it was socks before boots and not boots before socks!Both teams tried there best to perform but were constantly stopped for matters such as pidgeons flying a little to low or a man had a squeek on the wheel of his bike which the referee found off putting.But fair play both teams and team officals continued to attempt to play the game in the manner inwhich it should be.The farcical decisions continued and spoilt a game which had the makings of being a good hard fought battle but alas it was never allowed to flourish as Adolf sent of a Blues player for an incident that occured in the far corner from our vantage point and to be fair I was unable view, so it would be biased of me to offer my perceptions of the incident in a balanced and methodical manner.erhem!

"If you walk the walk you talk the talk!"
The referee in the latter stages of the second half appeared to sustain an injury to his calf muscle.The Parkgate physio attended to the referee's needs in the true sporting manner which you would expect of either professionally run club.I would love to know though just what the physio's bandages contained because within minutes the ref had gone from a man in black looking like he had been shot in the leg, god forbid, to a youthsome whippersnapper running up and down the touch line like a kiddie chasing Mr Whippy in his Van!I hope it wasnt as I heard a few Parkgate bounders saying that he had frained the injury as he had "Bottled it" as that really would be unprofessional especially as the Refree's analasyst had by now left the game.So that was the walk the walk.
Now the next thing to happen was the stormtrooper/assistant take over as the referee but not until the injured referee who was by now a healthy Usain Bolt assistant take his place on the far side of the pitch away from the dugouts and supporters and also changing both assistants over in the process so he could not be further away from anyone.This did concern us as his injury looked so serious incase this phantom muscle injury manifested. The new referee was then asked by the Parkgate bench how long was left as they were being held firmly and professionally at bay by the Blues ten men in a very workman like display.Th new referee shouted "how was he to know as he had only just come on and couldnt work it out? Approximately five minutes later he was asked again to which he replied half a minute!four minutes the whistle was blown finally for full time. If you walk the walk you talk the Talk. Well.........sometimes.